Kender Snore Reports

=Kender Snore Reports, And Why We Dont Like Eian Smarty= Kender Snore Report, Week Gazillion I was told to write this, though I dont much like writing, I'd rather talk myself, wouldnt you? Oh right, anyway, seems this -Eian Smarty- fellow doesnt like us much or his poop nation for that matter. Well I dont much like him, well most of us dont much like him, we didnt do anything wrong, did we? I dont really recall making anyone -that- mad. Well, maybe one time when I recall me and two other Kender were walking behind a bar counter once, we really just wanted to see what was behind it, honest. Anyway, Im supposed to get the Gnomes, who seemed to be concerned, always being such worry worts, to mass produce this and hand it off to people, you know to tell our side of the story, which I dont notice much aside from bucket heads walking around trying to make us do stuff, which is funny really. I like to think of it as a game, running from them isnt all that hard either, but sure gets the blood pumping! Oh right, anyway, we let the fort go to them, saved us the bore of walking around it all day anyway, though Mr. Kizo doesnt seem to happy, he liked his seige machines I suppose. He is sort of odd that way, he tried to jump on one of those guards, it was pretty funny. Hmmm, what else to say, oh. I suppose I should say Mr.Liamie is happy with our efforts at least, I heard the Kender who were helped by some chap named Fim are sort of distraught, they said for a smelly corpse, he did help some bit, honestly, I dont see the big deal, because he really stunk. Maybe If I was proper enough to borrow a closepin and hold my nose! That would have been smart, oh well. Say! Did you hear about the bandits in the south? One of our trade runners told us its all chaos there! I cant wait to go see it, Im packing tonight! Oh right, anyway, Celdin is a poop nation, Eian isnt that fun, and we dont like him. And what does he always have on his reports? To the poofs that are Celdin, may you fall on your arses. Strength and might, yadda, yadda, Eian "Not so Nice" Smarty, or something. Cheers. -Uncle Pizono Threepwood, Elder of the News and Stuff that Happens
 * Kender dont beleive in bounties::